A rap about soap

Splish and a splash
I was taking a bath
In some soft Welsh water
Shipped in from Penarth
There was a noise
And a flash
And out jumped the pope
He knocked over my toothbrush
And pounced on my soap
I said, 'Hey, your holiness,
How can you do this?
Can't you go back to Rome
And mind your own business?'
He said, 'Sorry my son,
I must make sure it's blessed,
I have information this soap is possessed.'
And with a prayer and a flash he just disappeared
Leaving me soapless and still dirty-eared.
Now I always use holy soap,
When I can get it
And I'll stay well away from bedevilled cosmetics.