My Local

A horse walks into a bar.
The barman says, 'Why the long face?'
The horse says, 'My wife just left me.'

A bear walks into this bar.
He goes, 'I'll have a pint of ale......and a packet of crisps please.'
The barman says, 'Why are your hands so big?'

An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walk into a bar.
The barman says, 'What is this, some kind of joke?'
The Welshman sitting in the corner goes, 'Well, it was going to be, but you've spoilt it now.'

A fish walks into a bar. He goes, 'Bloop bloobloop bloop.'
The barman says, 'Bloob blop bloop bloop?'
The fish says, 'I'm sorry, I didn't realise this was a gay bar.'