Hip AND cool

I am quite well known as part of the cool set in London. I am at the forefront of many of the latest trends and fashions (but not fads) that take hold among the hipsters and Fonzerati of this nation's great capital.
For example, I am currently sporting a beard. Not a goatee, a jazz tuft, an Abe Lincoln or a bodkin. A simple, 'stop shaving for a couple of weeks' beard. No fuss or poncing, just masculinity. Let the testosterone do the talkin'. And many fellow Londoners (most of them male) are doing likewise.
It was the same when I started wearing combat trousers in the 1990s, and when I took to dressing as a Beefeater last year. Next I intend to be seen sporting a top hat, as I think this item of headgear deserves a revival.
It's not easy being cool. People often stop me in the street and say, 'Excuse me, do you have the time?' or 'Can you direct me to Lincoln's Inn Fields'. And do you know what I say to them?
Nothing, because I cannot speak English.