Mysteries

A long time ago a nice man called Jesus was crucified and then rose from the dead. He then ascended into Heaven (not the gay nightclub).

Or did he?

He might have in fact fled to France with some disciples and perhaps even with a ladyfriend. After all, a lot of people do retire to Southern France, as it's rather nice.

I suppose we will never know for sure. It will remain a mystery, just like these other mysteries:

• why do Subway sandwiches never taste of anything, no matter how many ingredients you put in?
• why is the news always bad? (except for Jesus's news, I hear, although he hasn't told me what it is)
• are there more grains of sand in the world than there are stars in the universe, or is it exactly the same number?
• why do cats suddenly appear, every time you are near, you batty old lady?
• if Vladimir Putin was a pudding, which one would he like to be?
• where do they find the tiny men to drive Micro Machines (TM) out of the tiny factory? do the tiny men come in collections of five too?

These conundra puzzle me, as do many more, but most of them are rude so I'm not telling you about them here.